Rights of In-laws

[Simi]

Please get me answers for my problem in light of islam:

 

 

I am living with my husband in a joint family system (fater in-law, mother in-law, brothers & sisters in-law) and most of the time we have issue at our home that my mother in law says that I don't do work properly or not even doing it.

 

Basically, even if I do work, she is not satisfied and i have some limits, after which I can not work because of my health.

 

My in-laws blame me that I don't want to work or I am making excuses for not to work for them.

 

 

1. I would like to know what Islam says in this regard or What are the duties of a woman as a 'daughter in law'?

 

 

2. Being a woman what are my responsibilities in my in-laws home?

 

 

3. Does a woman have to listen to her husband or her parents in law?

 

 

4. Most importantly, Will a woman be liable by Islam if she doesn

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

dear sisterap ne jo halat bayan kiye kam o baish hamaray muashray k her ghar ki kahani hay ye asal mein sister in tamam masail ki jar deeni maloomat se doori hay,afsos hamaray yahan jab larki hosh sanbhalti hay us k zehan mein yehi baat dali jati hay k usay agay kisi or ghar mein jaker basna hay is k liye umooman maayen apni baition ko ghardari mein mahir kernay ki mukammal koshish kerti hain silai khana pakana or her wo kaam jis se agay wasta perna hota hay sab muamlat mein tamam mayin achi tarbiyyat kerti hain mager afsos k shadi k waqt or cheezon k sath is baat ki taraf dhiyan nahi diya jata hay k jis ghar mein larki jarahi hay wahan usay s ghar k makeeno ko apna samajhna hay ab us ki saas us ki maan ki tarah nandain behnon ki jaga hain in baton ki tarbiyyat nahi ki jati bal k ye samjhaya jata hay k jahan tum jarahi ho tumhara us ghar pe utna hi haq hay jitna wahan walon ka or ager tumhain haq na milay to apna haq cheen k lo ahhhh

asal mein sister ager ye samajh liya jaye k saas apni maan ki misel hay to bohat se masail hal hosaktay hain afsos ham is soch ko nahi apnatay to hamaray muashray mein her ghar mein taqreeban ye jhagray aam hainsab se pehlay sister ap ne jo ye suna k susral walon k koi huqooq nahi hotay to sister dar asal susral walon ki khidmat farz ya wajib nahi mager shoher k walidain or behan bhai honay k natay wo bahoo or bhabi k husn e sulook k mustahiq hain,

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

susral walon k huqooq k baray mein in fatawa ko read karen:

 

 

 

 

 

 

is 2sray fatway mein jo saas jawan hay ki baat hay issay ap suser ka samjhain k ager suser se fitnay ka ndesha hay or salion ki jaga dewar jaith k ager dewar jaith se bepardagi hoti hay or parday ka koi intizam nahi to ab susral mein na rehna zaroori hay

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

mazeed sister jab ham aik 2sray k huqooq ko samajh laingay to zindagi guzarna bohat asan ho jayegiis liye saas or bahoo k huqooq o faraiz mulahiza karen:

 

 

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

mazeed sister!

ameer e ahlesunnat damat barkatuhum ul aliya us larki k liye jo shadi hoker susral mein jarahi hay us k liye is tarah rehnumai farmatay hain:

larki ko chahiye k

1-saas nand se kisi soorat na bigaray,unki khoob khidmat karay ager wo tang karen to khamosh rahay.

2-saas ager bilfarz jhirkiyan deto apni maan ka tasawwur kerlay saber kerna asan hojayega inshaAllah.

3-ager ap ne kabhi saas k ghussa hojanay perjawabi ghussay ka muzahira kiyato nibhao mushkil tareen hoga.

4-susral ki badsulooki ki faryadapnay maikay mein kerna samnay chal ker tabahi ka istiqbal kerna haylihaza saber k sathsath is usool per karbandrahain k aik chup so ko harayeor jawab mein sirf dua e khair hi karen.

5-umooman ajkal susral ki taraf se bahoo per jadoo kerti hay shoher ko qaboo kerliya hay waghaira ilzam lagaye jatay hainkhudanakhwasta ager ap k sath aisa muamla hojayeto apay se bahar hojanay k bajayehikmat e amali se kaam laitay hoay khamosh hojain.

6-apna kamra din k waqt band na rakhay,ghar k 2sray afrad ki mojoodgi mein apnay shoher se kana phoosi na karain.

7-shoher ki mojoodgi mein bhichaye waghaira apni saas ya nand k sath baith ker hi piye,inkay samnay hergiz moon na bigaray,bartan zor se na pacharay,bachon ko is tarah na dantay k un ko waswasa aye k hamain sunati hay or kosti hay.

8-dhonay pakanay k kamon mein purti dikhaye.

matlab ye hay k najasat ko najasat se nahi bal k hikmat or husn e akhlaq k pani se hi dhoya jasakta hay

is tarah kernay se inshaAllah ap apnay susral ki manzoor e nazar ban jaingi or zindagi bhi khushgawar hojayegi inshaAllah.

susral k haq mein dua se ghaflat na karain k dua se baray baray masail hal hojatay hainnamaz or rozon ki pabandi kerti rahainyad rakhain k sharai parda lazmi hay dewar jaith se parda karain apnay ghar mein faizan e sunnat ka dars jari karain khamoshi ki adat dalain k ziada bolnay se jhagray barhnay ka andesha barh jata hay faishion parasti k bajaye sunnaton ka rasta ikhtiyar karen k isi mein bhalai hay.in tamam baton ko tafseel se sunnay k liye ap nigran e shoora k is bayan ko zaroor sunain jo k mian beewi dono k liye sunna be intiha mufeed hay:http://www.dawateislami.net/media/detail.aspx?clpid=clp-1153saas bahoo k jhagray k baray mein mufti abbas razawi sahib aik jaga is tarah farmatay hain:http://www.nooremadinah.net/Media/MuftiAbb...SaasKaJhagra.rmor aik madani muzakray mein ameereahlesunnat is tarah bhi madani muskha ata farmatay hain in jhagron se bachnay k liye:http://www.dawateislami.org/services/muzakra/rm/44-2.rm

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

or sister ap ne jo swalat kiye mera khayal hay ibtidai 4 swalat k jawabat to ap ko in fatwon or article mein mil hi gaye hain.

5 wan swal jo ap ne kiya k ager shoher force karay kaam keernay k liye to ager sister ager shoher k ghar walon ko apnay ghar walon ki tarah (saas ko maan ki jaga ,nandon ko behnon ki tarah) samjha jaye to kaam kaaj kerna phir to koi mushaqqat lagay ga hi nahi akhir maikay mein shadi se pehlay bhi to larki saray ghar k kaam kaaj kerti hi hay sara ghar sanbhalti hay han laikin ager ap ki sahet ijazat na day or bardasht se barh k kaam ka bpjh ho to shoher ko narmi or hikmat e amali k sath samjhaya jasakta hay or jab ap ameer e ahlesunnat ki di gai hidayat jo main ne ooper likhi hain un per amal karen to susral walay bhi ap k sath naram par jaingay or jab ap ki taraf se husn e sulook ka muzahira hoga to yaqeenan wahan se bhi ap ko acha responce hi milay ga bas sister bohat saber or hkmat e amali k sath apna maqam banana perta hay aik dafa jab ap sab k dil jeetnay mein kamyab hojaingi na to zindagi guzarna bohat asan hojayega inshaAllah.

yaqeenan shoher or susral walay achay ho to is se barh ker kia naimat hay,zindagi jannat ka namoona ban jati hayor ager achay na hon to is se barh ker konsi zehmat o takleef hay...

laikin sister jaisay hamain koi jismani takleef pohanchti hay to ham us ka ilaj to kertay hain isi tarah is takleef ko bhi lay ker na baithain bal k ilaj ki fiker karen.

bas ap saber karen or husn e sulook ka muzahira karen inshaAllah ap ka ghar jald hi jannat ka namoona ban jaye ga

or ap bhi jald hi haqeeqi khushgawar azdawaji zindagi ka chain paingi inshaAllah

mujhay yaqeen hay sister ap ki uljhan door hogai hogi ager ab bhi koi baat ho to zaroor share keejiye ga

wassalam ma'al ikram

[Iqra]

 

sister aap nai bohat achay fatwas share kiye hain aur bohat khobsoorat jawab diya hai har sawal ka

waqi susral main apni jagah banay k liye apnay aap ko pahlay sabit karna parta hai kah aap bhi is ghar ki fard hain

is k liye aqal aur hikmate amli sai kaam laina bohat zaroori hai kah ghussa ,josh aur zidd sai ghar nahin bastay . piar ,muhabbat aur husne salook sai hi apni jagah banaye jati hai aur yah sab karnay kai liye bohat sabar aur tuhammal ki zaroorat hoti hai ALLAH simi sister ki mushkilaat ko asan farmaye ameen

[Simi]

Dear Sister Assalam o alekum,

Thanks a lot for your replies, your posts, your time.

Allah ta'ala aap ko apni janab se jaza ata farmaye.

 

Sister, I do understand that respecting and obeying parents in-law is a moral deed (Ikhlaqi faraz) but main reason behind asking this question was that obeying them is not religious duty or Isamic sharia'at faraz.

 

After reading this above fatwa, I can make out that it is not religious duty, hence if it not fulfilled, there is no 'gunah' or no such liability by sharia'at.

 

Lastly, Please check following links I've found while searching net:

 

 

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=9058&CATE=3640

 

 

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=273&CATE=87

 

Do comment on this.

[SanaAli]

meray pyari bahan simi aap ki problems read ki mein nay jo kay aap kay qareeb aik bohut bara masla hogi laikan meray nazdiak yee tu koi masla hi nahin pyari bahan mein khud aik 10 saal married life guzar chuki hon aur Allah pak ka ahsan hai bhut hi izzat di hai us mailk ka karam hai thora time bohut hard aya tha laikan aaj jab dil say meri ki hui khidmat ko sarahatay hain mujh ko manntay hain aur hur taraf Allah kay hukum say mein hi mein hoon hur chota bara bacha tak meray agay pechay hain Allah kay hukum say bas kurna kya hai yee aik bohut hi golden mashvarah hai apnay tamam bahnoo ko kay bas chup rehna hai aur sab ki khidmat kurna hai kis kay laey sirf aur sirf Apnay Allah pak kay laey jo kaam karain Allah kay laey karain phir dekhain Allah pak kaisa karam kurtay hain aap pay aap tu susral ki baat kur rahi hain mein tu hur kisi ka kaam kur daitay hon kisi bhi rah chaltay tak kaa sirf aur sirf Allah kay laey us rabbay karim ki raza kay laey yee tu phir aap kay majazee khuda kay maa baap hai aap zara yee sochain kay in hi baap aur maa nay kitnay armanoon say kitnee mohabbaton say aap kay husband ko paalaa posaa hai achi turboyat kari is qabil banayaa kay aap aik achi life ji rahin hai tu kya un kay laey un kay ahsanoon kay laey itnee si kidmat karain aur wo bhi ghatay ka sodaa nahi dain bhi lain tu kya hi bahtreen baat hogi aur aap khud sochain sab bahnain kay aap kis tarah apni auladon ko paal rahi hain aab aap ki bahoo aap ki kidmat karay gi inshaAllah tu aap bhi tu duain hi daingi naaa dekhain bahan aik baat yaad rakhain mashaAllah aap bhi aik din saas banaingi aap ki beta beti bhi aik din deawr nand banain gay us din aap ki bahoo nay Allah na karain aap kay sath aisa kara tu yaa aap ki bhabi nay aap ki maa yaa baap ki khidmat kay laey aisa socha tu aap ka aap ki maa ka bhi dil dukay gaa naa islam mein tu bohut si cheezain nahin hain laikan horaha hai kur rahay hain yahan tu bas dil ko thora sa open karain aur Allah kay laey sab karain aur dehain phir karam Allah kaa aur meri koi baat buri lagi hoo tu Allah kay laey maaf kur dain sab bahnain

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

meri meethi islami behan!

 

ab main kia kahoon....

 

dekhain islam sirf faraiz ya wajibat per amal kernay ka naam hi nahi

 

akhir kitna aisay kaam hain jo farz ya wajib hergiz nahi ham kertay haina

 

behan bhai ka khayal rakhna un k kaam kerna,apnay doston k sath muhabbat nibhana

 

hatta k koi door k rishtaydar ajain to khatir dari kerna mehman nawazi kerna ye sab kiya hay?

 

kia ye faraiz mein ata hay?

 

sister ager ham aj apna muhasiba karen to kitnay aisay faraiz ya wajibat hain jo ham pooray kertay hain or kaheen door na jain specially khawateen ghardari or bachon ki care k sath kabhi ma'az Allah namaz tak qaza kerdeti hain,

pregnant orator doodh pilanay wali maan ko roza chornay ki ijazat hay ager na rakh sakay to mager hamaray yahan khawateen ka haal ye hota hay k rakh k dekhti bhi nahi hain k rakh sakti hain ya nahin bas shariat ne ye rukhsat di to roza chor diya or baad mein kabhi wo pooray hojain to bari baat hay.

ager koi beemar aisa beemar hay k kharay hoker namaz ada nahi kersakta to shariat ijazat deti hay k baith ker parhay mager hamara ye haal hota hay k halki si koi takleef hoi foren baith ker namaz parhnay wali rukhsat per amal kerliya

to ye sab hamari apni kamzorian haina!!!

faraiz wajibat per hamara apna amal mazboot nahi laikin jahan baat ati hay susral walon ki to hamain ye yad ata hay k un ki khidmat farz ya wajib nahi

piyari behan mujhay ye samajh nahi ata k akhir susral walay kon si alag makhlooq hain jo larkian un se aisay bair laga laiti hain

islam mein to janwar se husn e sulook kernay per bhi sawab milta hay

kia ap ne wo waqia nahi suna k aik orat ki is liye bakhshish hogai k us ne aik pyasay kuttay ko pani pilaya tha

to kia us ne ye farz ya wajib amal kiya tha?

to susral walay kia kisi janwar se bhi kam hasiyat rakhtay hain

 

husband k ghar walay

 

shoher k huqooq ager ham samajh lain to phir susral walon ki hasiyat un ka maqam samajhna aasan hojayega

sister mufti sahib ne ye farmaya k un ki khidmat kerna farz nahi theek hay

mager sath hi ye bhi to farmaya hay k jaisay shoher kitnay hi kaam aisay kerta hay beewi k jo wajib nahi mager kerta hayna to beewi ko bhi chahiye k husn e sulook ka muzahira karey

 

yaqeen karen sister

 

susral walon k sath ap ager husn e syulook karen gi to sawab to lazmi paingi na ye kion soch rahi hain k khidmat kerna farz nahi to main nahi karoongi to gunah nahi hoga

 

meri pyari behan

 

shariat e mutahhara ne hamaray liye bohat asan usool wazah kiye hain

 

dekhain ager susral walon ki khidmat farz ya wajib qara di jati phir larkiyan na kertin to zahir hay gunahgaar hotin

 

laikin ab farz ya wajib nahi to maqsad ye to hergiz nahi k khidmat kerna gunah hay

 

kia ap ne wo riwayat nahi suni?

 

hazrat Ali ne irshad farmaya

 

aye oraton khda se daro!or shoher ki razamandi ki talash mein raho is liye k orat ko ager maloom hota k shoher ka kia haq hay to jab tak us k pas khana hazir rehta ye khari rehti(abu naeem)

 

to sis ap batain kia shoher k ghar walon ki khidmat na kernay se shoher razi hoga

 

mera khayal hay dunya mein koi aisa merd nahi hoga jo is baat se khush ho k us ki beewi us k maan baap ki khidmat na karay

to achi beewi ko chahiye k apnay shoher ki rizamandi ki talash mein rahay

 

dekhain sister susral walay koi ghair makhlooq nahi hamari tarah k insaan hain un k seenay mein bhi hamari tarah ka dil dharak raha hay yaqeenan husn e sulook se un ka dil naram perjayega

 

or sister ye bhi yad rakhain k taali dono hathon se hi bajti hay

 

main ye nahi keh rahi k qusoor ap ka hay

 

nahi mujhay andaza hay, mera mushahida hay(Alhamdulillah its not my experince) k saas bahoo k jhagray mein ziada bambari saas ki taraf se hoti hay

 

mager sister plzzz is baray mein thanday dil se sochain k kia ap ka zara bhi hath nahi hoga is jhagray mein yaqeenan kaheen na kaheen to ap se bhi ghalati hoi hogi na

 

saas bari hain ap k husband ki ammi hain un ko apni ammi ki tarah samjhain ahteram karen

 

kaheen ap ki ghalati hay to hath jor ker muaafi maang lain yaqeen karen is main apka kuch nahi jaye ga

 

akhir dekhain shadi se pehlay ka sochain hamari ammi bhi to kai baaton per dant ti haina kaam sahi nahi hoa ghar ka koi to daant perti hay ammi se k agay ja ker batain sunwaogi etc aisa mayen to kehti hain

 

akhir jab hamain apni ammi ki baten bardasht hojati hain to saas ki kion nahi hotin ?is liye sis k ham ne start se hi ye socha k ye husband ki ammi hain meri ammi nahi un ko apna samjhain to kitni baten hi bardasht hojain

kia shadi se pehlay behnon se larai nahi hoti thi?

 

her ghar ki kahani hay ye to behnon mein to aisi laraiyan hoti hain

 

to ye nafraton ki waja se nahi mahabbaton ki waja se hoti haina

 

to saas bhi ager ap ko dant ti hain to is liye k un ko ap per maan hay wo ap ko chota samajh ker dant ti hain

laikin jahan phir ap palat ker ghalat andaz mein baat karen jawab dengi baten sunaingi nafrat ka izhar karengi to ikhtilafat to janam laingay na

sister jaisa k sana sis ne kaha k hamain bhi aik din is mansab per ana hay saas bana hay aj ham ager husn e sulook karengay tabhi agay bhi is ka acha phal dekhaingay inshaAllah

sister mujhay pata hay main bohat kuch keh gai mager sis ap khud sochain aj ager hamari bhabi hamari ammi k sath acha sulook na karay to hamain kitna bura lagay to saas bhi to kisi ki maan hain or kisi ghair ki nahi ap k husband ki phir wohi baat k husband ko razi kernay ki niyyat se hi kerain khidmat k shoher ki riza main Allah ki riza posheeda hay

ager phir bhi ap se acha sulook na karen wo(saas nandain ) to saber karain ajer paingi

or ap ne jis article ka link diya us main bhi sari baten hi sahi likhi hain mager sister mera mashwera yehi hay k ap sirf aik dafa koshish ker k dekhain

yaqeen karen ap ka ghar jannat ka namoona ban jayega

aik dafa sirf aik dafa saas ko maan ki hasiyat to dain dekhiye ga phir kitnay masail hal hojaingay inshaAllah

ager main ne kuch ghalat kaha ho to baraye madina meri islah farmain

wassalam ma'al ikram

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

sister islam isi tarah her kisi se husn e sulook ka dars deta hay to susral walon ko bhi chahiye k bahoo ko apna samjhain us ko nokrani na samjhain saas ager bahoo ko beti ki tarah samjhay gi to is se bhi kai masail hal hosaktay hain yani ye muaamla 2non taraf se hi hay saas bhi bahoo ko maqam de us ko mahabbat de isi tarah bahoo ko bhi chahiye k saas ki izzat karay apni maan samajh ker gharaz ghar bananay ya bigarnay mein in 2no oraton ka hi kirdar hay ifham o tafheem se hi masail hal hotay hain.

Allah pyaray aaqa k sadaqay mein hamari tamam maaon behnon ko aik doosray k sahih huqooq o faraiz ada karnay ki madani sa'adat ata farmaye or hamain aik doosray k sath husn e sulook kernay ki tofeeq ata farmaye or sister ap k tamam masail hal farmaye

aaaaaameeeeeeeeeen bijahin nabiyyil ameen

wassalam ma'al ikram

[SanaAli]

umme anwar raza aap nay bohut hi achi baat ki hai hum mein say koi bhi apna mahasbaa aaj kurnay ko tayyar nahi mein hoon ya aap yaa koi bhi humari pyari bahan hum faraz aur wajib kay chakur mien aajatay hain jab kay humaray pyaray nabi jab dayee haleema bibi kay anay pay kharay hojatay they bibi fatima zehra kay laey apni chader mubarak bicha daitay they kya un pay aisa kurna fara ya wajib tha nahi naa?? tu hum kyun maa jaisee saas bahan jaisee nanad kay laey kuch thora sa kurtay meri aap sab say request hai jis kay laey jo bhi karain samnay rakhay apnay raab tala ko us zaat ko aur kur jain sab kaam phir dekhain apnay malik ka karam sister umme anwar raza aap ko Allah aur naikee dai aap nay bohut hi achi baat kahee hai Edited 18 اکتوبر 2007 by sanaali

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

sister sana mufti sahib ne fatway mein ziker kiya k aisay bohat se kaam jo wajib nahi hotay shoher per mager wo kerta hay apni beewi k liye to beewi ko bhi chahiye k shoher k muta'aliqa kaam jitna mumkin hosakay ada karay or susral walon ki khidmat karay

 

to ab hona to yehi chahiye k ham yahan un kamon per bhi kuch roshni dalen, ta k ham sab k zehnon se tamam uljhanain door hojain

 

wassalam ma'al ikram

[SanaAli]

sister umme anwar raza haan aap theek keh rahi hain kay mufti sahab nay kaha kay aisay bohut say kaam jo husband kurtay hain aur wo wajib aur farz nahi jaisay kay bachoon kay kaam bohut say meray jannay walay canada usa mien hain jo kay bachon kay sab kaam even daiper tak change kurtay hain feeder daina change karana ghur kay bhi bohut say kaam cleaning dish washing grocery lanay say set kur kay apni jaghon pay rakhna biwi kay ghur jana rehna apnay saas susar ki khidmat kurna kis husband pay wajib hai kay wo apnay susral mien koi dawat hoo tu wo sab kaam even mop broom vaccume dishwashing karay yee mein apni ankhoon ka dekha bata rahi hon jab kay wo larka apni sagi maa aur baap kay ghur kabhi aik glass tak nahin wash kurta tha yee bhi tu biwi ki mohabbat mein kur raha hai naa?biwi ko aik nahi 100 bar parlor laikur jana kon kurta hai kya yee farz hai dear ? aur bhi bohut say kaam hain jo kay kurtay hain aur kur rahay hain hum ko bas apnay dil ki ankh ko kholna hai aur bas kuch nahin

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

ji sana bohat achi baton ki taraf tawajju dilai ap ne ye sab to hota hi hay

kuch sharai masail ki taraf bhi ager ham nazer dalen to main ap ki tawajju dilaoon k shoher ko chahiye k apni beewi ko us k maan baap k ghar 8 din mein aik dafa zaroor lay jaye, mager akser jaghon per ye hal hota hay k maan baap k ghar larki her 2sray 3sray din chakkar lagati hay ,theek hay jaye larki maan baap k ghar jab chahay mager shoher us ko her dafa lay jata ya janay ki ijazat deta hay to ye us per wajib nahi hay,

mazeed ye k beewi k behan bhai k ghar lay jana beewi k khandan mein kisi ki shadi hay wahan jana gift dena waghaira ye sab bhi shoher per shariat ne wajib nahi kiya

mazeed aik bara aham mas ala k zakat jab orat per wajib hoti hay to usay khud ada kerni chahiye mager hamaray yahan oratain kahan khud apnay paison se zakat ada kerti hain shaoher hi ada kerta hay to shoher ager beewi ki taraf se us ki ijazat se ada keray to ada to ho jaye gi mager ye ada kerna shoher per wajib nahi .isi tarah fitray ka muamla hay k jis per wajib hay khud ada karay mager umooman shoher hi ada kerta hay to in baton ko bhi to note kerna chahiye

or mazeed ager kisi member ko is baray mein koi info hon to zaroor share karay yahan.

Allah pyaray aaqa k sadaqay mein ham sab ko shariat k ahkamat samajh ker un per amal kernay ki or doosron tak ponhchanay ki madani sa'adat ata farmaye

aaaaameeeeeeeeenm bijahin nabiyyil ameen

wassalam ma'al ikram

[Iqra]

 

piari sister umme anwar raza aur sanaali aap nai bohat acha re kia hai magar main aik baat ki taraf tawajjah dilana chaoon gi kah jab koi aurat apni zindagi kai 20 ya 22 saal apnai maan baap kai ghar guzar kar kisi new ghar , new mahool aur new logon main ati hai to us ko wahan adjust honay main thora time lagta hai .. apnai shohar kai saath saath us kai ghar walon ki pasand na psand jannay main us ko thora waqt lagta hai wahan kai mahool main adjust hona wahan ka rahan sahan dhang apnana yah sab cheezain time maangti hain ... ho sakta hai yah 20 yaa 22 saal woh jo parents kai ghar guzaar kar aye hai wahan us pai ghar kai kaam waghira ki ziada zimmadari na ho .... ab zahri baat hai shaadi kai baad aurat pai zimmadaari aa jati hai shohar ki us kai ghar walon ki phir bachon ki ....... ab yahan pai susraal walon aur larki dono ko apnai apnai kirdaar khush asloobi sai nibhanay chaiyen ... susraal walon ko chaiye kah woh apni bahoo ko apnai ghar main adjust honay kay liye thora time dain , apnai ghar main mix ho janay k liye apni bahoo kai saath beti jaisa salook karain us ko jab mahsoos hoga kah mujhe yahan beti ki tarah hi piar aur ahmiat mill rahi hai to us ko susraal kai mahool main jald adjust honay main asani ho gi ... aur doosri taraf larki ko apni akal use kartay hoye jald sai jald susraal walon kai mizaj aur un kai mahool ko samjhna chaiye susraal walon main jagah banay k liye pahlay larki ko apnai aap ko us ghar ka hissa aur farad samjhna bohat zaroori hai apnai saas aur susar ko apnai maan aur baap ki jagah samjhna chaiye un ki waise hi khidmat karni chaiye jsaiy woh apnai parents ki karti thi un ko waise hi ahmiat daini chaiye jaisay woh apnai parenst ko daiti thi ... apni maan kai awaz dainay pai jahan woh ji kahti thi yahan saas ki awaz dainay pai us ko do baar ji boldaina chaiye .. jahan daikha saas kaam kar rahi hai kichten main wahan khud ja kar kaam karna chaiye .... isi tarah ki aur bhi kaye baatain hain jin ko apna kar aik larki susraal main apni jagah aur mukaam bohat jald bana sakti hai ...... ghar basany kai larki ho bohat akal aur hikmate amli sai kaam laina parta hai ... aur susraal walon ko bhi chaiye kah woh bahoo ko khuda ra apni beti ki jagah hi samjhain us kai saath apni beti jaisa hi salook karain us kai saath apni beti jaisi hi muhabbat karain jahan pai woh apni beti kai aram ka khial rakhtay hain wahan woh apni bahoo ko bhi bilawajah tang na karain jahan woh apni beti ki khushi k liye bhaag door kartay hain wahan apni bahoo ko bhi khush rakhin kah bahoo ko to beti sai ziada piar o muhabbat ki zaroorat hoti kionkah woh apnai maan baap ko chor kar un logon main apna ghar basany ati hai us ko bhi maan ki mamta ki zaroorat hoti hai

 

jo susral walay apni bahoo kai saath acha salook nahin kartay akhir woh yah kion nahin sochtay kah yah bhi kisi ki beti hai .. is kai maan baap pai kia guzray gi agar hum is kai saath acha salook nahin karain gay sab sai bari baat roze mahshar ALLAH ko kia jawab dain gay

[Umm-e-Anwaar Raza]

beshak iqra ap ne bilkul sahi baat ki k susral walon ko bhi apnay rawayyay mein lachak rakhni chahiye

mera kehnay ka maqsad yahan ye hergiz nahi tha k larki hi her soorat mein qusoor war hoti hay nahi bal k main ne yehi kaha hay k is jhagray mein (saas bahoo k jhagray mein) ziada ter bambari saas hi ki taraf se hoti hay

or kia ajeeb baat hay iqra k orat ki zindagi ka her mor her roop bara hi pyara hota hay chahay beti ho behan ho beewi ho ya maan her roop hi apnay ander aik alag kashish rakhta hay,beti hay to maan baap ka sukoon ,behan hay to bhaiyon ki ankhon ki thandak beewi hay to shoher k liye chain o rahat ka saman or maan wahhhh!!! ye roop to dunya ka sab se pyara roop hay is rishtay mein jo kashish hay sab hi samajh saktay hain is baray mein to ham jitna kahain kam hay maan to wo rishta hay jis k agay dunya k saray rishtay haich hain jis ka koi naim al badal ho hi nahi sakta

gharaz orat her roop o rishtay mein aik anmol khazana hay apnay muta'alliqeen k liye

mager jab yehi orat saas ban jati hay to umooman bahoo k haq mein kisi azab se kam nahi hoti ,

darasal mahabbat mein shirakat kisi se bhi bardasht nahi hoti or betay ki tawajju ka markaz pehlay sirf maan hoti hay baad mein bahoo jab apnay hissay ki mahabbat samait ti hay to saas se ye umooman bardasht nahi hota nateejatan wohi kuch hota hay jis ka ziker hamari simi sis ne kiya.

iqra mera moa'qqif abhi bhi yehi hay k ziada ter saasain hi ya susral walay hi qusoor war hotay hain kion k waqai aik larki jo apni umer kay 22 23 saal jo maan baap k ghar guzarti hay is age tak us ki adatain pukhta hochuki hoti hain,ab zahir hay aik bilkul naya mahole ,aam tor per bilkul alag mizaj k logon k sath rehna khas tor per shoher k sath adjust kerna us k mizaj k mutabiq apni adatain badalna us k sath hansna us k gham mein rona asan kaam nahi hota na sister ,

in sab baton k liye adjustment k liye aik bohat lamba arsa chahiye,

mager phir bhi main yehi kahoongi k larki ko adjust honay k liye sabr o tahammul ki or husn e sulook ko apnaye rakhnay ki ashad zaroorat hay,

jo baat ameer e ahl e sunnat damat barkatuhum ul aliya ne bayan ki k:

matlab ye hay k najasat ko najasat se nahi bal k hikmat or husn e akhlaq k pani se hi dhoya jasakta hay

to sister main ne sirf isi baat ko paish e nazer rakh k simi sis ko mashwera diya tha k bahoo ko husn e sulook or be intiha saber se kaam laina hoga kion k sister ghar bigarna to chutkiyon ka kaam hay aik minute nahi lagta bigarnay mein mager ghar basana or dilon ka jeetna asan nahi is k liye bari mehnat derkar hay.

or ye baat waqai ap ne bilkul sahi kahi k susral walon ko bhi larki k sath husn e sulook se paish ana chahiye ye baat main pehlay bhi arz kerchuki hoon k saas or bahoo yehi dono fareeq hain jo ghar banati ya bigarti hain.

Allah pyaray aaqa k sadaqay mein hamari tamam maoon behnon ko aik doosray k sath husn e sulook se paish anay ki tofeeq de or hamaray dermyan se bughz keena ,hasad badgumani in tamam buri adaton ko door farmaker husn e zan ki naimat ata farmaye

aaaaaaaaameen bijahin nabiyyil ameen

wassalam ma'al ikram

[Ussaid-e-Raza]

thanks for sharing.

[SanaAli]

pyari sister iqra aap nay theek kaha hai kay larki hi qasoor war nahi hoti bilkul theek mein bhi aap bhi aur umme anwar raza bhi aik larki aik aurat aur aik maa hi hain naa tu dear hum khud larki hoo kur bahu ho kur bura kaisay chah sakhtay hain baat itnee si hai kay aaj kal yahan jo horaha hai aur jo dekha hai tu wo hi mien nay discuss kya hai aur kisi aik ko bhi takleef hoo chahy wo maa hoo bahan ho ya biwi yaa bahu yaa beti hur rishta miyana ravee chahta hai jo kay rakhna chahey hur bhai baap aur shohur ko agur maa ki taraf say ziyadtee hoo tu larkay ka farz hai kay wo maa ko samjhay yaa aisee biwi karay yaa bahan jo bhi ghalatee pur hoo aik yahee rishta hai larkay ka jo sambhaal sakhta hai aur mein ab bhi yahee kahon gi kay larki agur saber hoslay say rahay tu sab theek hojata hai yee naa sochay kay aik din mein sab change ho jai gaa apni achi hikmat-e- amli say sab kay dil pay raaj kur sakhti hai aur jo mein nay post kya tha wo meri apni aap beti thi aur sach tha sab aap sab nay bhi suna hoga kay pani bhi drop drop garay tu pathur ko moom kur sakhta hai yee tu phir saas nand kay dil hain koi ghalati hoo tu baray -e- madina maafi kay talabgaar hoo

[AsmaG]

AOA, aap log boht usefull talk krhy hain , me bhe apna masla share krna chate hon or pls mujhy bhe guide kre k mujhy kia Karna chahy. Mere shadi ko 16 months hoy hain mere 4 nanden hain jis me 3 unmarriade hain or over age hain ab shadi nhe ho skti , sas suser Ki death ho chuki hai or mery husband aik he Bhai hain or sb se choty hain ab msla ye hai k mere 2 nandon ne mujh se shadi k 20 ven din se Jo larae start Ki hai to WO aaj tk chal rhi hai, me kitna bhe kam krlon k sa bhe acha kron lekin WO kise ginti me nhe aata or on ka kam sirf mujh pe nzr rkhny ka hai hr waqt bs ye he fikr rehti hai k me kia krhi hon, waqt be waqt room me aa k dekhte hain me boht brdast krti hon lekin kabhi jb boht ghussa aata hai to me bhe jwab dedete hon, mere 1 nand sb se khrab hai WO bat ko brha crha k sb ko btaten hain or jhot boht bolti hain jb k 5 waqt Ki namazi or tahajud tk prhti hain, mujhy kise se milny nhe deten Jo bhe ghr me aay or na me masi se koe apna kam krwa skti hon mujhy apna hr kam khud he krna hai, mere hr bat ka olta matlb nikalti hain jis wja se mene in logon se bat krna boht km krdia hai. Mery Ammi k ghr se bhe kise ko aany Ki permission nhe hai. Or mery hanband as usual apni sisters Ki he zyadatr side lety hain. Ab is sorte hal me mujhy btaen k me kia kron?

[Kilk-e-Raza]

AOA, aap log boht usefull talk krhy hain , me bhe apna masla share krna chate hon or pls mujhy bhe guide kre k mujhy kia Karna chahy. Mere shadi ko 16 months hoy hain mere 4 nanden hain jis me 3 unmarriade hain or over age hain ab shadi nhe ho skti , sas suser Ki death ho chuki hai or mery husband aik he Bhai hain or sb se choty hain ab msla ye hai k mere 2 nandon ne mujh se shadi k 20 ven din se Jo larae start Ki hai to WO aaj tk chal rhi hai, me kitna bhe kam krlon k sa bhe acha kron lekin WO kise ginti me nhe aata or on ka kam sirf mujh pe nzr rkhny ka hai hr waqt bs ye he fikr rehti hai k me kia krhi hon, waqt be waqt room me aa k dekhte hain me boht brdast krti hon lekin kabhi jb boht ghussa aata hai to me bhe jwab dedete hon, mere 1 nand sb se khrab hai WO bat ko brha crha k sb ko btaten hain or jhot boht bolti hain jb k 5 waqt Ki namazi or tahajud tk prhti hain, mujhy kise se milny nhe deten Jo bhe ghr me aay or na me masi se koe apna kam krwa skti hon mujhy apna hr kam khud he krna hai, mere hr bat ka olta matlb nikalti hain jis wja se mene in logon se bat krna boht km krdia hai. Mery Ammi k ghr se bhe kise ko aany Ki permission nhe hai. Or mery hanband as usual apni sisters Ki he zyadatr side lety hain. Ab is sorte hal me mujhy btaen k me kia kron?

 

والسلام۔ ایک دوسرے ٹاپک مِیں کچھ پوسٹ کیا ہے۔ تقریباً وہی یہاں بھی پوسٹ کر رہا ہے۔ اللہ نے چاہا تو ضرور بہتری ہوگی۔

 

 میری بہن آپ نے صبر و برداشت کا مظاہرہ کیا  ہے۔ اللہ جلہ جلالہ ضرور  بہتری فرما ئے گا۔دعا کرتی رہیں۔ اپنے گھر کو تباہ ہونے سے بچائیں۔  آپ امیر اہلسنت مدظلہ العالی کا بیان و   مدنی مذاکرہ اگر سن لیں اور کسی طرح اپنے گھر والوںکو بھی سنوا دیں۔ آپ کی بات نہیں چلتی تو اپنے خاوند کو پہلے بتا کر اُن کے ذریعے کچھ طریقہ نکالیں۔ تو امید ہے گھر امن کا گہوارہ بن جائے گا۔ ان شاء اللہ

 

بیان: گھر امن کا گہوارہ کیسے بنے ۔۔ امیر اہلسنت حضرت مولانا الیاس عطار قادری مدظلہ العالی

Download: http://websites.dawateislami.net/download/islam/en/mp4/2013/14706.mp4?t=d

گھریلو ناچاکیاں دور کرنے کا طریقہ۔ مدنی مذاکرہ

Download: http://websites.dawateislami.net/download/madani_muzakra/en/mp4/2014/18003.mp4?t=d

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VenL_2uegFc

 

حالات آپ کے گھر کے پہلے ہی ناساز ہیں۔ مزید ٹینشن لینے سے فائدہ نہ ہوگا۔ اپنے والدین سے بھی سلیقے سے مشورہ کریں اور جن باتوں کاذکر اوپر دیے ہوئے بیان میں ہو۔ اُن پر عمل کرنے کی کوشش کریں۔ پنجگانہ نماز پڑھ کر اللہ پاک سے دعا کریں۔ اُس کے انبیاء و اولیاء کے وسیلے سے۔  ایک سو گیارہ روپے کی حضور غوث پاک کی نیاز کر لیں۔ نماز غوثیہ جس کا ثواب حضور غوث پاک  رضی اللہ عنہ کو پہنچاناہوتا ہے۔ دو رکعت نفل ادا کرکے گیارہ قدم بغداد شریف کی طرف چلیں اور پھر اُن کے وسیلے سے گھر کا ماحول بہتر ہونے کی  دعا کریں۔ ان شاء اللہ یہ وہ مجرب نسخے ہیں جو علمائے اہلسنت نے صدیوں سے اپنی کتابوں میں تحریر کئے ہیں اور آج تک نقل ہوتے چلے آرہے ہیں۔ دعا مومن کا ہتھیار ہے۔ اس کو نہ چھوڑیں۔ اگر آپ کسی با شرع پیر صاحب سے مرید ہیں تو اُن کے دیے ہوئے وظا ئف کو پڑھیں۔ مرید نہیں ہیں تو کسی باشرع پیر  صاحب سے بیعت کر لیں اور شجرہ شریف سے وظائف کو پڑھیں۔ اللہ کے نیک بندوں سے سلسلہ جوڑنے کی بڑی برکتیں ہیں۔ ہمارے اعمال بہت برے ہیں اور دعاءوں میں وہ اثر نہیں۔ نیک بندوں کی دعاءو ں اور وسیلوں سے کام بن جاتا ہے۔